tell it like it is: pisces
Oh, sweet Pisces. Dreamy, kind, compassionate, boundless ocean. As the sign encompassing all the signs before them, these fish have a profound capacity to hold space and empathize with others. In my experience with Piscean folx, this extends to the animal and spirit realm, too. We all have Pisces in our charts and wherever that lands, you have this ability to embody these qualities. It is also the area of our charts where we most be most vigilant of our boundaries, as they tend to get slippery here.
Take a moment and notice what happens in your body when you hear the word ‘boundaries’. Dread? Anxiety? Anger? Boundaries is a word we hear often in “wellness” spheres, whether it’s an Instagram reel or a quote on Twitter. And often, oversimplified and made to seem like something you do once and then magically they hold or you’re just really good at when, in fact, creating boundaries for most folx is a life-long learning. Tricky part is: we only grow by testing them out in relationship with others. And we can only truly know ourselves fully by having them.
One of my favorite somatic practitioners and teachers, Prentis Hemphill, brilliantly described boundaries as “…the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously”. I think this is so beautiful because it reframes the origin of boundaries as one formed in love. Love for self, love for the other. So often we think of boundaries as a defense, a barrier. Deprivation. Reactionary. A limit placed to invoke pain. And yet, if we approach boundaries from this generative place, we actually create more space and care in our relationships. We are honest about capacity. About needs. About safety. We come together from a place of willingness rather than obligation.We create autonomy and interdependence. Not codependence and resentment; depletion. This is the new way of being in beloved community.
Prentis also says, “It’s the places where your shame persists that your boundaries are the hardest to hold”. Read that again. Sit with it for a minute. Where does that land in your body? Where does your shame persist? I know one of mine is that, as a creative, my time is not as valuable as someone with a “real” job. And so, it is harder for me to establish boundaries around my time. If this landed with you, perhaps take some time to journal about it and notice the patterns. Boundaries are meant to ebb and flow; there will be rigid times, there will be times of adjustment, there will be flexible times. What’s important, to me, is using the first quote from Prentis to make sure we’re staying in integrity with ourselves. And you’ll fuck up. We all do. But loving ourselves means re-committing to what makes us feel loved and safe, as many times as it takes and as much as we can.
If you’d like to experiment with a somatic boundary exercise*, I’ll be recording one soon. We’ll explore the felt sense of our original, most tangible boundary: our body. It is free and can be used as often as you’d like. Sign up for my e-mail list to make sure you get it!
*TW: The exercise is a general practice that may not be appropriate for everyone. If you have trauma that is based in a boundary violation of your body, you may want to skip this exercise unless you feel adequately resourced to handle any trauma responses that may arise.
Just like last month, I asked two Pisces friends of mine to answer some q’s about how it feels to be someone born under this sign. I hope you give it a listen and if you’re curious to learn more about Johanna and Bethany, there is more info below!
Johanna B. Voss is a talent manager, trusted by social media influencers who want clarity on how to build their brands, grow their businesses, earn their worth and plan strategically for the future. On behalf of her clients, she’s closed over two million dollars of brand deals, partnerships and speaking engagements with brands invested in authentically engaging new audiences. Negotiation is something she thoroughly enjoys be it for her clients, friends or with strangers!
Prior to her work in the talent management space, Johanna worked on the Presidential campaigns of John Kerry and Hillary Clinton for more than 7 years. Johanna is a world traveler, lived in Spain three times, can often be found cycling Colorado's mountain ranges, or asking the question "What if you...?" Follow her on Instagram @johannavoss an check her business out here.
Bethany Betzler designs travel experiences, writes short stories & essays, and provides strategic direction for cultural projects. Her career has led her into roles in contemporary dance, fine art & media, design, economic development, and most recently the travel industry–where she works with the Bhutan-based company MyBhutan. She splits her time between Michigan, Bhutan, and Thailand and loves drinking coffee, studying Buddhist traditions, & running/hiking across the world. She recently launched a twice-monthly newsletter that explores modern wellness for a tech-life balance, called hinoki at home. Her travel story series can be found on Medium.